I’m often asked, what is the most important skill or “thing” that a leader can have? After I giggle, I quickly say, “Emotional Intelligence.” When asked why, it doesn’t take me long to realize that if you had a good grasp on emotional intelligence, you wouldn’t be asking that question. Emotional intelligence is being able to effectively respond in the moment in a positive way. It provides the ability to make good decisions, solve problems logically, handle pressure during conflict, and to build high performing teams and organizations through intentional relationships. What more could a leader ask for?
The concept of emotional intelligence has been around for a very long time (Aristotle referenced an effective use of emotions in 340 BCE) and over the past few decades, it has become a topic of psychological research, especially for its affect in the workplace. Experts have supported that a person’s emotional intelligence quotient (EQ) may be more important than their IQ. EQ is certainly a better predictor of success, quality of relationships, and overall happiness.
The Basic Definition of Emotional Intelligence is Our Level of Ability to:
Recognize and understand our emotions and reactions (self-awareness)
Manage, control, and adapt our emotions, mood, reactions, and responses (self-management)
Connect our emotions to motivate ourselves to take appropriate action towards the achievement of our goals (motivation)
Determine the feelings of others, understand their emotions to relate to others more effectively (empathy)
Use our emotions to intentionally build relationships, relate to one another in social situations, lead others, and work as part of a team (social skills)
Why is Emotional Intelligence Important?
Physical Health – The ability to take care of our bodies and especially to manage our stress, which has an incredible impact on our overall wellness, is heavily tied to our emotional intelligence. It is only through our by being aware of our emotional condition and our reactions to natural stress in our lives can we hope to manage and maintain good health.
Mental Well Being – Emotional intelligence affects our attitude and outlook on life. It also helps to alleviate moods, such as anxiety or depression. A high level of emotional intelligence directly connects to positivity and happier outlook on life.
Relationships – By better understanding and managing our emotions, we are better able to communicate our feelings in a more constructive way. We are also better able to understand and relate to those with whom we are in relationships. Understanding the needs, feelings, and responses of those we care about leads to stronger and more fulfilling relationships.
Conflict Resolution – When we can discern people’s emotions and empathize with their perspective, it’s much easier to resolve conflicts or possibly avoid them before they start. We are also better at negotiation due to the very nature of our ability to understand the needs and desires of others. It’s easier to give people what they want if we can perceive what it is.
Success – Higher emotional intelligence helps us to be stronger intrinsic motivators, which can increase self-confidence and improve our focus towards a goal. We then create better support systems in our life to persevere with a more resilient outlook.
Leadership – The ability to understand what motivates others, relate to them in a positive manner, and to build stronger bonds with others in the workplace inevitably makes those with higher emotional intelligence better leaders. Emotional intelligence can be the distinction between being an ordinary leader and an extraordinary leader. An emotionally savvy and intelligent leader can build stronger teams by utilizing the emotional team make up to achieve higher level of results. I like to say that our emotions are the one unique tool that leaders have with them all the time to master the world around them and create a positive role model for others.
Why should you care about enhancing your EQ? Because people who have developed their emotional intelligence enjoy more success in every area of life. This is because life almost always involves interacting in some way with other people, and high EQ people just make each interaction more rewarding for everyone.
While EQ isn’t always easy to change, with intentional effort, most people can improve their emotional intelligence. It takes awareness, coaching, self-introspection and monitoring, and feedback from others.
The first step towards improving your EQ, you need to assess where you currently are, so that you know where and how to start. There is an easy way to identify your emotional intelligence through self-assessment. From there, you can determine which component scores the highest – and requires maintenance and work to keep that area strong. You then need to identify which area needs attention. You can design a plan with that focus in mind to intentionally increase your Emotional intelligence.
To learn more, contact the Chief Learning Officer of The Training Edge at basharon@trainingedge.com
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